When we place a priority on friendship as a fundamental value, we will find every excuse to get together and enjoy one another's company. Not only that but we will diligently make efforts to be friendly and to build deep and lasting friendships that are able to sustain and maintain through the trials of life and bring us out with joy!
I know that in my life that I can get sucked up into the busyness of life and before I know it the day or the week or the month is gone and I have missed the opportunities to spend time with family, friends and future friends! ... if I have to be completely honest - it is simply laziness and selfishness to take care of my relationships. If we run out of water at home, I will quickly pick up the phone and order more water. If we run out of electricity, I will go in the middle of the night in my pj's to find a vendor still open to buy electricity. If I can make that effort for something so inconsequential and passing - how much more should I not be spending time, effort and cash on my relationships? What about a friend who is going through bankruptcy, or divorce, sickness or death of a loved one ... who will be there for them?
Our lives are slipping away and with it the most important thing that God has given us - the only thing that we will take with us into eternity, is slipping away with it! You think I exaggerate? Paul said this to the Thessalonian church:
FRONT DOORS OF FRIENDSHIP
How high is the value of relationships on your priority list? Do you have an open or a closed friendship front-door? In other words is it open to new people - do you actively reach out to bring new friends into your friendship circle? Or do you have a poverty mindset when it comes to friends - one or two good friends and that's all I need? Can we ever have enough friends, even best of friends? When I think of my friends in the album of my life, they are the colour in the pictures, the fragrance that lingers, the echoes of laughter, the looks, the smiles, the tears, the touches.
My friend the honey bee
I have a friend in South Africa, he is the friendliest guy that you will ever meet. He is totally unashamed of going up to people and introducing himself and being friendly and becoming a friend (to the point of being forward). He has more friends than anyone I know, from princes to paupers from geeks to gorillas (no you may not ask where I fit into the continuum). The first time that I ever met him (we worked for the same company), he stopped me in the middle of the road and invited our family (Jess was 1 yr old) to join him and his wife at his cottage he had built on the Transkei coast (it was really rough, but one of the most wonderful holidays we've had). Just like that - dived in at the deep end - said here's someone I want as a friend and took the plunge! We have been best of friends ever since. He has shown me this truth - if you want to have friends, be friendly and go and make friends! Do not accept no for an answer - especially from your own fears and insecurities! He is like a honey bee flying expectantly from flower to flower and wherever he finds the nectar of friendliness he collects and stores and transforms it to the honey of life-long friendship.
I know that in my life that I can get sucked up into the busyness of life and before I know it the day or the week or the month is gone and I have missed the opportunities to spend time with family, friends and future friends! ... if I have to be completely honest - it is simply laziness and selfishness to take care of my relationships. If we run out of water at home, I will quickly pick up the phone and order more water. If we run out of electricity, I will go in the middle of the night in my pj's to find a vendor still open to buy electricity. If I can make that effort for something so inconsequential and passing - how much more should I not be spending time, effort and cash on my relationships? What about a friend who is going through bankruptcy, or divorce, sickness or death of a loved one ... who will be there for them?
Our lives are slipping away and with it the most important thing that God has given us - the only thing that we will take with us into eternity, is slipping away with it! You think I exaggerate? Paul said this to the Thessalonian church:
For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the
presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you?
Indeed, you are our glory and joy!
FRONT DOORS OF FRIENDSHIP
How high is the value of relationships on your priority list? Do you have an open or a closed friendship front-door? In other words is it open to new people - do you actively reach out to bring new friends into your friendship circle? Or do you have a poverty mindset when it comes to friends - one or two good friends and that's all I need? Can we ever have enough friends, even best of friends? When I think of my friends in the album of my life, they are the colour in the pictures, the fragrance that lingers, the echoes of laughter, the looks, the smiles, the tears, the touches.
My friend the honey bee
I have a friend in South Africa, he is the friendliest guy that you will ever meet. He is totally unashamed of going up to people and introducing himself and being friendly and becoming a friend (to the point of being forward). He has more friends than anyone I know, from princes to paupers from geeks to gorillas (no you may not ask where I fit into the continuum). The first time that I ever met him (we worked for the same company), he stopped me in the middle of the road and invited our family (Jess was 1 yr old) to join him and his wife at his cottage he had built on the Transkei coast (it was really rough, but one of the most wonderful holidays we've had). Just like that - dived in at the deep end - said here's someone I want as a friend and took the plunge! We have been best of friends ever since. He has shown me this truth - if you want to have friends, be friendly and go and make friends! Do not accept no for an answer - especially from your own fears and insecurities! He is like a honey bee flying expectantly from flower to flower and wherever he finds the nectar of friendliness he collects and stores and transforms it to the honey of life-long friendship.
BACK DOORS OF FRIENDSHIP
What is the back door of your friendship circle like? Do you allow your friends to slip out unnoticed through the back door of your life? An open, unwatched door means "easy come, easy go ...". In other words, I expect friends to come in and out of my life and will not inconvenience myself to maintain or sustain those relationships. Its all about me and friends being friends to me and not I to them. When we cultivate our friendships they become those well-watered gardens in which is found joy and gladness, praise and thanksgiving (Isa 51:3). Cultivate not only short term crops, but trees and forests, relationships that will last for a lifetime and beyond!
Like a zealous gardener we can plant pretty annuals and tasty vegetables, but it is the trees that produce a lifetime of fruit or strong durable beams. It is trees that withstand the drought and the storm and the locust, but they need to be carefully nurtured in their formative years. There is no quick reward - but a diligent stewardship is required.
My friend the builder bee
I have a dear friend that phones me from South Africa every week without fail, regardless of whether or not I have phoned or sms'd him. He simply shares his week with me and asks about my week. It is the most encouraging event of my week (sad life you say?), no ... not because of any great truths or wisdom or pious platitudes but simply because this very busy friend has placed such a priority on our friendship that he has structured into his week the cost and time and effort of a phone call to a distant friend. He has intentionally crafted that honey-comb structure with which to fill that precious, golden substance called friendship. Without that structure, that honey would be enjoyed for a moment but lost over time - or come the winters of our lives there would be nothing to draw upon to sustain our friendship. I have often boasted how as men, we can go for years without speaking to our friends and then pick it up again just like that when we get together again. The sad truth is that it is simply a poor reflection on the value that we place on our friendships and our own laziness to steward God's gift of relationship. That friend through his actions, has taught me more about friendship than all the sermons I have heard or great texts that I have read. A friend indeed!
What is the back door of your friendship circle like? Do you allow your friends to slip out unnoticed through the back door of your life? An open, unwatched door means "easy come, easy go ...". In other words, I expect friends to come in and out of my life and will not inconvenience myself to maintain or sustain those relationships. Its all about me and friends being friends to me and not I to them. When we cultivate our friendships they become those well-watered gardens in which is found joy and gladness, praise and thanksgiving (Isa 51:3). Cultivate not only short term crops, but trees and forests, relationships that will last for a lifetime and beyond!
Like a zealous gardener we can plant pretty annuals and tasty vegetables, but it is the trees that produce a lifetime of fruit or strong durable beams. It is trees that withstand the drought and the storm and the locust, but they need to be carefully nurtured in their formative years. There is no quick reward - but a diligent stewardship is required.My friend the builder bee
I have a dear friend that phones me from South Africa every week without fail, regardless of whether or not I have phoned or sms'd him. He simply shares his week with me and asks about my week. It is the most encouraging event of my week (sad life you say?), no ... not because of any great truths or wisdom or pious platitudes but simply because this very busy friend has placed such a priority on our friendship that he has structured into his week the cost and time and effort of a phone call to a distant friend. He has intentionally crafted that honey-comb structure with which to fill that precious, golden substance called friendship. Without that structure, that honey would be enjoyed for a moment but lost over time - or come the winters of our lives there would be nothing to draw upon to sustain our friendship. I have often boasted how as men, we can go for years without speaking to our friends and then pick it up again just like that when we get together again. The sad truth is that it is simply a poor reflection on the value that we place on our friendships and our own laziness to steward God's gift of relationship. That friend through his actions, has taught me more about friendship than all the sermons I have heard or great texts that I have read. A friend indeed!
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